My life has taken a few trajectories. I often vacillate between feeling like I am of an entirely different universe to thinking I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in this moment and time. I like futurism, hence often feeling like I’m often out of step and impatient for worldly change. I want medical breakthroughs, bionic parts, and the ability to fly now. When I’m challenged, in a rut, or feeling disjointed I can sometimes remind myself of the lessons, to listen to what is being told to me, and then fix it in the here and now. Sometimes…
I’ve never paused at the water’s edge – except until recently. I climbed the mountain in the fog by myself and threw my kayak in the water without knowing how to paddle. I’ve taken risks and survived to tell the tale and become better for it. That’s my belief. When I come to the edge now, I still get wet, but usually just dipping a little in. I don’t immerse myself with the same vigor. It’s timely to remind myself of this.
I don’t spend enough time in nature these days. With bleak winter days fast approaching, the last remaining opportunities are precious. I used to spend hours on the grass, watching clouds, listening to wind and birds. I drew inspiration, read books, or just stared. It was quiet, or rather quiet of people sounds, save the occasional lawnmower. Also, I was always closer to water. It could draw me to it, sometimes peeking through a forest of trees, or wide open on the waters edge. Somewhere the draw, lure and connection was broken.
I usually realize too late that I haven’t spent enough time in with my creative self. I feel crankier, tired, and annoyed with increasing intensity. Drivers, noise, and smells become irritants. Things that could give me a creative bounce stop resonating. I get caught in the business and routine of the days and soon my focus has shifted to the red zone. When I come back to my space where my consciousness realizes the shift, a few words, colors, or textures can be enough to snap me back.
I was once approached by two women when I was in college. I was sitting alone and they wanted to discuss their beliefs. I told them I believe that everything is cyclical. Years later I still believe that. Anyone who follows trends knows that nothing is ever truly new. Sure, elements of something are new, but something completely new and ultimately unique is pretty rare. Of course there are arguments from many perspectives, for example, each person’s DNA is unique – but untimely everyone grows at the relative same rate, eats the majority of the same foods, has a heart that beats in a consistent way. This isn’t what I’m getting at. I mean beliefs, advancements, how we live, how we relate, where we go and what we think. It always comes around again. I want change, I like it. It makes me more comfortable than staying the same.
Sometimes there is only the same four walls. My choice? Usually. They are easier but then become too much as well. I need more after a while.
I don’t believe meditation has to be complicated. Yes, a few years ago I read up on the hows and whys like many do when they hear or read about mediation’s benefits. The internet will tell you about various types of meditation, how to properly breath, clear your mind and focus on a candle (I’ve tried this! It was reallllly hard). There are free meditations, meditation classes, and meditation retreats where there is no speaking for DAYS and so on.
For what its worth, in my humble opinion, it doesn’t have to be that complicated and the following videos helped me. The first is about “Monkey Mind”, the second is “Weightless” which is the top of ten songs studied to help in relaxation, and the third is a free guided meditation called Yoga Nidra which I did for a while.
Also, I mentioned 4X4X4 breathing on twitter. Look it up, it’s often used for anxiety.
Hope this helps – it did for me 🙂